Saturday, June 6, 2015

Are you a Seeta? Or are you a Geeta?

Can anyone really be classified on their behavior as black or white? When I was young (er) and naive, I did actually believe people are either good or bad. Back in those days, when reading Archies was my favorite hobby, I knew Archie, Betty and Jughead were the good ones, Reggie and Veronica were the bad ones. When I watched Seeta aur Geeta, I developed this notion (along with the good and bad) that people can be classified as intorverts and extroverts too. Again, meaning, people always have "defined" personalities and nothing, absolutely nothing, stays in between, which one may call a grey area.

I now know and realize that most of us are in that grey area. We are sometimes both extrovert and introvert and sometimes neither. We are sometimes good, maybe sometimes bad. But we do not really have one definitive character that can be used to describe us. We all do have an inherent character in ourselves, but as we grow and start to know life and it's situations, we adapt to these situations and sometimes people around us, by either moving towards a greyer area or by changing our characteristic altogether.

Seeta didn't say a word when she was abused, just as Geeta didn't let anyone abuse her, she went ahead and taught lessons to people who did her wrong. Can you be a Seeta all your life? Or a Geeta all your life? I think we all have a little bit of both of them in us and when time and situations arise that need us to behave in a certain manner, we just do that.

What do you think?

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Trapped

I have to admit this is one thing I definitely didn’t know about myself in the 31 years of my existence. I was on my way to the ground floor from 7th floor in the office building’s lift, when, maybe between the 2nd and 3rd floors, there was a power failure and the lift stopped. It wasn’t the first time this had happened to me and so my natural instincts kept telling me that 7-8 seconds from the power cut, the generator would turn on and the lift would operate normally. But that didn’t happen.

I wasn’t alone too, I had the team with me. We were chatting away, but when the lift didn’t turn back on after the first 15-20 seconds, things started feeling a little weird to me. It was as if like the people in front of me weren’t really in front of me and that I was seeing them in a movie screen or something. I couldn’t concentrate on what was being talked about, the automated voice kept repeating “This is an emergency. You are part of an emergency rescue mission. Please wait” on a loop. I said “I’m not feeling very good”. The others thought I was joking or maybe it wasn’t as scary as I was making it out to be. But after we were trapped for more than a minute, I started to panic. I kept telling myself “it’s all going to be okay, it’s just for a few seconds, at least you are not alone” but nothing seemed to calm me down. This time, I shouted “I’m going to faint” and I could feel a rush of dizziness coming my way and I blacked out for a couple of seconds. My breaths turned shorter. I started to rest on the lift’s wall, to prevent myself from falling on the floor. My team rushed towards me, held my hand, started saying positive things but nothing seemed to help.

I saw the emergency numbers pasted in the lift. I shouted “Call them, call them now!” As luck would have it, none of the numbers were reachable. Then I thought if I talk to someone outside and someone who can calm me down, I may feel better. I called Rajat and heard his familiar voice. I didn’t know what to say, I was panicking so much. I told him about how I was trapped in the lift and how I was unable to breathe and how scared I was. He tried to calm me down, but that didn’t help entirely either. Then, a minute and 3 seconds into the phone call, the fan started to rotate. We all breathed a heavy sigh of relief. We got out of the lift and my legs were weak with all the worrying and the dizziness. For a few minutes after I got out of the lift, I was trying to laugh at myself for being so scared of such a small event, but I couldn't. 

I was and still am not in the best of moods and I am yet to get into a lift after this incident. I tried getting into one this morning, but somehow couldn’t.

For people who have experienced stranded lifts and haven’t had any problems, kudos to them. I hadn’t known I would panic so much in a closed lift but I did. It may have been lack of oxygen, it may have been the automated voice in a loop, or it may have been claustrophobia, I don’t know. All I know is that I need to learn to manage this situation better and I have to train myself so I don’t get THIS scared in the God forbid scenario that this happens to me again in the future, especially if I am alone.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Was it meant to be? - Part 2

Link to previous parts:

Part 1

"Why don't you guys start serving the food, Madhu, and I'll be there in just a few minutes?" Roshni said, and pretended to call someone on her cellphone.

"Aww! I know who you want to talk to! But it's just a day, sis, and you'll be with him forever!" Madhu exclaimed, emphasizing on the word forever. She then waved bye to Roshni and got back inside the house.

Roshni gulped and put her phone down. I've got to think through this. Why am I having these jittery thoughts? I thought the day I would marry Siddharth would be the happiest day of my life, and yet I sit here, a day before the wedding, having second thoughts? Whatever went wrong?

Roshni started to think through some of the things that had started to bother her lately. Nothing came to her mind. Maybe it's just the stress with the wedding she thought. She tried to cheer herself up and started to feel better in a few minutes. She then decided to get back in and enjoy with her family, the last few hours of her spinster life.

Just as Roshni got up from the swing, her phone started to ring. Siddharth's smiling face greeted her on the screen. She smiled, and answered the phone. Before she could say anything, Siddharth said "Roshni, we need to talk, now. It's about the wedding. I am...well...I don't know, I just want to meet you now"

To be continued...

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Sulking

Ugh! The topic itself makes me say “ugh”!

Disclaimer: If you are in a good mood, you might want to steer clear of this post! But the day you are feeling miserable and as you know, misery loves company, this post will be here, waiting for you.

Do you ever get the feeling that nothing is going your way and/or you are generally irritated and just want to stay away from everyone? It is not that there is one big problem that you can solve, there are quite a few things that are irritating, nagging, frustrating…you get the drift, don’t you? The frustration is so high that staying patient and calm itself is a big deal; the advice people give seems unwanted though you know deep down that all they are trying to do is help you; getting yourself out of bed is a big deal; nothing seems interesting or new and you certainly don’t want to embark on anything new by yourself, like start exercising or dedicate time to a hobby etc.

This isn't a great post where I tell you what you should do when you feel that way, because I, for one, think that the only way out of such times is to wait it out; because it is life, it is real; such things happen and they happen to everyone, not just you.

That I was able to write about this while I am in a sulky mood itself is an achievement. But it doesn't make me feel any better. So I am back to where I started - Ugh!

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Death and dealing with it

Take it from someone who has had a lot of experience with deaths in the family: Time doesn't stop, "I can't live without you" is a sham 99 out of 100 times and if you think it gets better once you cry it all out, you are wrong, because the pain never truly goes away.

Dealing with something as permanent as death requires a lot of maturity, patience, hope as a virtue and a normal life to return to; of course friends and family who are there for you at your time of need are no less than the other things I just mentioned. The process of dealing with death begins with complete misery of the loss of a loved one, the fear that you will never get to see, touch, hear them again. This slowly turns into anger, questions of "why", "what is the purpose of life" etc. start haunting you. And all this while, it is important to be surrounded by people who can make you talk, smile, laugh even; no, it is not a crime to laugh after you have lost someone. Repeating these processes for a while (duration varies with people) and then slowly returning to the life you led before the unfortunate incident is the most important step of the dealing and healing process; as this gives you something, a purpose, to go on with life.

Most of the things I talked about here, are more so for sudden or totally unexpected deaths, not those of, say, a very old grandparent who wasn't keeping well for quite sometime.

Death is painful, inevitable, permanent, hard hitting; but deal-able.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Humans and our insignificance

For people who talk to me on a regular basis, this may sound like a repeat telecast all over again. But this is something I have been feeling for quite some time now that I wanted to share here.

When I see people around me cry over petty reasons, I think it is funny. It's not that I don't do it at all; I do it too, but I would like to believe I have reduced it a lot over the years. The reason I find it funny is because of this; call it trick if you will; that I adapted a couple of years back. I think it all started when I started watching episodes of "The Universe". The sheer mention of distance between the Earth and the Sun; the age of Sun; the life span of Sun; all this was enough to make me feel like humans are such a small part of this huge, boundless space that exists around us; around Earth. I always remember these facts and try not to waste my time here on insignificant things like gossip, egos, fights, complaints etc. For people who do that, maybe the boundaries of their minds and thinking are just that; they cannot think beyond daily life with its nitty-gritties, day to day chores, fights and complaints and cribbing.

When you expose your mind to limitless possibilities, and the insignificantness (yet significant, definitely, because of what humans have achieved over centuries, which any other life form hasn't been able to, at least on Earth) of our existence, maybe then those things like daily banter and issues also start seeming insignificant and hence not worthwhile.

Try it and let me know if it works. We can make this a much better place to live if we ban these very things like chaos, fights and egos from our lives.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Time and tide wait for none

I feel so restless
Like something is going to be taken away from me
It isn't something that I can catch hold of
I know because I tried and I failed miserably

As I see the water in the lake
And the swaying coconut trees
I realize there are some things that can't be stopped
They just cannot rest in peace

Like the water, the wind and the birds that move
Time has a promise to keep
It cannot stay still
It must, into its own shell, go deep and deep