Monday, November 3, 2014

Double Century!

When I started blogging 5 years back, (incidentally, my first blog post was on the 30th of October 2009!), I had high hopes for me as a blogger. Though I haven't achieved those hopes and dreams, I would like to believe I haven't been a complete failure either. This hope or dream I am talking about is available here. I wanted to blog every single day, like Big B, no matter how busy my day would be, no matter how my mood would be. It is pretty obvious if my 200th post is in 5 years, that I haven't achieved it. But, to console myself, I would like to think of 200 as a big achievement!

Maybe I don't have a life that is filled with as many events as the Big B's, and so I don't have so much to write about, but I do lead a pretty interesting and eventful life that I am proud of :)

For my 50th blog post, which I had achieved quite early in my blogging career (kudos to the younger me ;)), I had written this. After a lot of thinking, I decided I will continue that older post, and mention some more random things about me.

Here goes the list:

1. I am a very shy and reserved person. Since I move around with a defined set of people, this trait isn't noticeable.

2. One of the fondest memories I have is that of seeing Shahrukh Khan perform live on stage in Bangalore in 2004. My mom gave me Rs. 2000 after I begged her umpteen times, to buy the ticket, and I promised to pay her back with money from my first salary!

3. It is very difficult for me to fake emotions. If I don't like someone, it is written all over my face. Same goes for when I like someone.

4. When a guy wrote to me that he cried after reading my first novel, Juvenile Journey - A trip down memory lane, I felt my work as a writer has been accomplished.

5. I have inspired someone to write a diary in their thoughts via this blog. Thank you for letting me know.

6. I get the most unbelievable dreams and nightmares. But what's beyond that is this website which seems to give the perfect explanation to the things and people I see in them! Uncanny!

7. One of the best advice bits I have ever received is "At their death bed, no one thinks of how many projects they successfully completed. Everyone thinks of how many successful relationships they have had and how well they have managed their family"

8. Someone collected all my poems in a folder in their Gmail and shared them with me all at one. Talk about thoughtfulness :) Thank you!

9. I am extremely proud of my 3 younger brothers (maternal cousins) who have accomplished so much at such young ages. Kudos to you guys!

10. My second novel, tentatively titled "Namma Story" (as used in Namma Bengalooru), is ready and hopefully should be out soon! Keep looking at this space for more updates.

I am extremely thankful to those who read most of my blog posts and either comment on them or let me know verbally. You are the force that keeps me going! Thanks for all the love!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Memories at Midnight

No, this post has nothing to do with Sidney Sheldon's Memories of Midnight. Just thought it suited the mood I am in and it is almost midnight, hence. I was taking this online test the other day (yes, I am a big fan of these online tests though I don't post my results out there for the world to see. Sounds strange, I know, because I keep sharing a lot of stuff about me in social networks anyway, so why not this? The more I think about it, the more I feel that whatever I willingly post is what I want the world to see me as, but the results of some of these tests are so accurate and portray so much about the real "me" that I don't feel like sharing it with everyone. Phew, and so ends a long explanation within parenthesis), and it said I am more of a person who reflects on the past than paint my future. I guess I am like that.

Which finally brings me to the point of this post. I was remembering a lot of things from my childhood to my adolescent days, from my primary school days to my college days, the friends I made, the relationships I saved, the people who matter(ed), the people who went away, the worst of my life and the best of my life. As I wrote in my book "Juvenile Journey - A trip down memory lane", it is very difficult to come out of these memories once you enter into their world.

And so the impromptu blog post. To let people know I was thinking of them, and that I always will. Because I am a "memories" person.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

One of the best drives ever

So. I was at Coorg last weekend to attend a dear friend's son's naming ceremony. A bunch of us friends decided that we would go together and I was looking forward to it since it had been quite some time that we had all met and hung out for longer duration.

When the planning started to take its own course and nothing was being decided quickly, I started worrying about the "fun" we would have on this trip. But, I was proven wrong, and thankfully so. The trip was super fun, we all got to spend some much-needed time together, played a lot of games, slept in a dormitory chatting away into a late night.

After an eventful day, the next day, we set out on our return journey. The reason for me skipping the "eventful" day is to get to the point of this post i.e. one of the best drives ever. It was 3 of us in my friend's car and I was seated comfortably in the backseat. The weather was just right, neither too cold, nor too sunny. It started getting cloudy after a while - even better! And then came along small drizzles. Mmm, the smell of rain water hitting sand.

About a couple of hours into the journey, we were at crossroads and wondering which one to take. A quick call to another friend, and that was decided. The road we eventually took was very narrow, but had lush green fields on both sides. What a treat to the eyes! Every shade of green ever discovered or yet to be discovered was there. And then, it started getting darker and darker.

A small pit stop happened on the way, and we all got down to stretch our legs. Out came the beers and Breezers. That was where I remembered we had not taken even a single group picture during the trip. So, out came the cameras and their timers too. A couple of fun clicks later, we again hit the road, this time totally dark and starting to get colder too.

What effect it was, I don't know - could be the Breezer or the sheer kick of friendship, I felt so much at peace, it felt wonderful. Divya and I started having this insane obsession towards the song "Har kisi ko nahi milta yaha pyar zindagi mein", the remix version of it. We must have played it back-to-back at least 10 times, and singing out loud. Those moments were pure magic. Something midst that loud, blaring noise, made me feel completely at peace.

I don't remember much after dinner as I was asleep for most of the journey back home, but this drive is one that will remain in my memory for a long time to come. Thanks Sandeep for the awesome drive!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Taking the Middle Road

Most of us, more often than not, and this I say by my personal experience, take the middle road in life. Call this peacemaker abilities, escapist behavior, or the compulsion to keep everyone around us happy or….well, I am at a loss of words here. Maybe that is because of the part of the world we stay in and/or our upbringing and culture?

I have known/I know very few people that speak their mind. They (you notice I say “they” here because I am not one of them) say what they want to, they do what they want to, and still somehow manage to stay cherished in the lives of people around them. They don’t compromise most of the times and they manage to stay happy because they know what they are doing is what they absolutely believe in. And in cases of these people, no matter where they stay, or how their upbringing is, they stay true to their nature.

There are of course others, who don’t stay true to themselves at all. They assume the lie they portray and continue living that lie. That’s a different story for another day.

But the people who take the middle road - Is it safe? Maybe sometimes it is, when say, you are taking it to protect your child, or when you say something just to see smiles on your aged parents’ faces (even though you don’t believe in it). These are harmless, nothing that really comes back to you with a problem. But if something that you are doing (believing that that is the best route to keep everyone happy) is harming yourself or those near and dear to you, it is maybe time to sit, think and understand if you are right in your approach or you are just feeding egos. Maybe you knew the answer all along but your characteristic behavior didn't let you change things from what they were. But, as someone wise rightly said, it is never too late. We should all try to correct things that may have gone wrong because we took the middle road.

Lastly, earlier in this post, I spoke of people who speak their mind being cherished. The reason could be that the people who take the middle road, actually want to be like these people who speak their mind and they are in awe of them. I think so!

Sunday, August 31, 2014

No matter how hard you try, you cannot do everything

When I first watched Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani, I hadn't really liked it. But the movie kind of started to grow on me, after I watched it a couple of times on TV. I think the part that I connected with, the most, was this dialogue and the scene where Deepika and Ranbir are exploring Udaipur, and towards late evening, Deepika just sits down, exhausted, and Ranbir tries to force her to leave that place so they could watch the sound and light show. Deepika resists, saying she is too tired and she would rather rest at the same place for a few minutes. Ranbir, being the restless one, reluctantly sits next to her, and still makes one last attempt to convince her to go: "What if we find out later that the show was "dhaasu"? (meaning awesome), to which Deepika responds "I know it will be awesome. But if we go there, we would miss the 'just as awesome' sunset you can see from here"....."no matter how hard you try, in life, you cannot cover everything you have planned in your checklist. You are bound to miss doing certain things. It is better to enjoy whatever you have, wherever you are".

THAT struck a chord with me. I too, am the restless kind. I want to do everything that I plan to do. It is good when I do get to do everything I plan, but I tend to get too worked up if and when I don't get to do everything I planned. In such cases, it is better to stop, take a breather, smell the roses and enjoy things that are there, then and with whoever is with me.

With so many things to achieve and do in today's fast paced life, it would be a refreshing change to stop and enjoy our surroundings in silence, just maybe once in a while.

Monday, August 11, 2014

I am my best self when busy!

I watched "Lucy" the other day, the movie which is based on the hypothesis that humans use only up to 10% of brain capacity in a lifetime. The movie was not at all well made, but the point it tried to make, stuck with me. I was doing some thinking prior to that, well, I have been from some time now. But I was unable to pinpoint on that one thing which was making me uneasy.

There I was, having more free time on my hands than earlier, and still, why wasn't I able to focus on those things that I always thought I would do when I have free time on my hands? Stuff like, completing my unfinished novels (yes, plural), joining a handwriting analysis class which has been on my mind since like forever, registering for a masters degree (again, yes, I love studying, I want to do a MA in English or maybe a PG Diploma in creative writing), build a scrapbook for myself, and the list goes on. But I just wasn't doing any of these things. Why?

Rajat put in good words today. "You are at your best when you are busy" and as an afterthought, he added "And busy doing quality work". There, the light bulb flashed. Come to think of it, I had written my first novel when I was at one of the busiest and challenging phases of my career, my best scrap-booking results happened when I had absolutely no time to dedicate to them, my certification exams happened when my mind was being utilized constantly to think about solutions for challenges at work and so on. You get the drift, don't you? The correlation to Lucy, here, being the non-utilization of even that mediocre 10% of my brain capacity right now. Ugh.

So, now, the only way to get myself into doing all those things that I want to do, is to keep myself busy. Amen.


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The strangeness of human mind

When I lost my dad, I thought my life was done too. I thought I wouldn't be able to live without him and my time too, would soon come. When the 17th day had passed (that was the longest I had ever been away from him), I realized nothing was going to happen to me just because I don't have the most important person in my life with me anymore. I was (probably, debatable) sent here with a purpose and till I achieve that, my time wouldn't come.

I started to associate his presence with the weirdest things possible; when my vehicle wouldn't start after multiple attempts, I would say a silent prayer to my dad, and my Hero Puch would purr into action (Of course, I didn't want to consider the possibility that the multiple attempts would have warmed up the engine and that, most obviously, was the reason); I would say a silent prayer to him during all my exams then onward and give him (HE still existed in my mind) the entire credit for my good scores; I lost my way back from a remote area I had been to once, and all the way back home, which took a good 2 hours, I "felt" I was being guided by him. I don't really believe in supernatural existence unless it is evil (Ugh, I know, but that's the way I feel) but all these were new experiences.

Now that I think of all these situations, I laugh to myself. How naive I was. Naive or not, I think the strong belief I had in him and his presence helped me sail through most of my teenage years and early 20s. I don't rely on him anymore (not always, anyway) though I wish I did. Maybe the presence of something so strong, such strong a belief or hope in something helps us wait for a better tomorrow.

Thoughts?