Saturday, April 18, 2015

Was it meant to be? - Part 2

Link to previous parts:

Part 1

"Why don't you guys start serving the food, Madhu, and I'll be there in just a few minutes?" Roshni said, and pretended to call someone on her cellphone.

"Aww! I know who you want to talk to! But it's just a day, sis, and you'll be with him forever!" Madhu exclaimed, emphasizing on the word forever. She then waved bye to Roshni and got back inside the house.

Roshni gulped and put her phone down. I've got to think through this. Why am I having these jittery thoughts? I thought the day I would marry Siddharth would be the happiest day of my life, and yet I sit here, a day before the wedding, having second thoughts? Whatever went wrong?

Roshni started to think through some of the things that had started to bother her lately. Nothing came to her mind. Maybe it's just the stress with the wedding she thought. She tried to cheer herself up and started to feel better in a few minutes. She then decided to get back in and enjoy with her family, the last few hours of her spinster life.

Just as Roshni got up from the swing, her phone started to ring. Siddharth's smiling face greeted her on the screen. She smiled, and answered the phone. Before she could say anything, Siddharth said "Roshni, we need to talk, now. It's about the wedding. I am...well...I don't know, I just want to meet you now"

To be continued...

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Sulking

Ugh! The topic itself makes me say “ugh”!

Disclaimer: If you are in a good mood, you might want to steer clear of this post! But the day you are feeling miserable and as you know, misery loves company, this post will be here, waiting for you.

Do you ever get the feeling that nothing is going your way and/or you are generally irritated and just want to stay away from everyone? It is not that there is one big problem that you can solve, there are quite a few things that are irritating, nagging, frustrating…you get the drift, don’t you? The frustration is so high that staying patient and calm itself is a big deal; the advice people give seems unwanted though you know deep down that all they are trying to do is help you; getting yourself out of bed is a big deal; nothing seems interesting or new and you certainly don’t want to embark on anything new by yourself, like start exercising or dedicate time to a hobby etc.

This isn't a great post where I tell you what you should do when you feel that way, because I, for one, think that the only way out of such times is to wait it out; because it is life, it is real; such things happen and they happen to everyone, not just you.

That I was able to write about this while I am in a sulky mood itself is an achievement. But it doesn't make me feel any better. So I am back to where I started - Ugh!

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Death and dealing with it

Take it from someone who has had a lot of experience with deaths in the family: Time doesn't stop, "I can't live without you" is a sham 99 out of 100 times and if you think it gets better once you cry it all out, you are wrong, because the pain never truly goes away.

Dealing with something as permanent as death requires a lot of maturity, patience, hope as a virtue and a normal life to return to; of course friends and family who are there for you at your time of need are no less than the other things I just mentioned. The process of dealing with death begins with complete misery of the loss of a loved one, the fear that you will never get to see, touch, hear them again. This slowly turns into anger, questions of "why", "what is the purpose of life" etc. start haunting you. And all this while, it is important to be surrounded by people who can make you talk, smile, laugh even; no, it is not a crime to laugh after you have lost someone. Repeating these processes for a while (duration varies with people) and then slowly returning to the life you led before the unfortunate incident is the most important step of the dealing and healing process; as this gives you something, a purpose, to go on with life.

Most of the things I talked about here, are more so for sudden or totally unexpected deaths, not those of, say, a very old grandparent who wasn't keeping well for quite sometime.

Death is painful, inevitable, permanent, hard hitting; but deal-able.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Humans and our insignificance

For people who talk to me on a regular basis, this may sound like a repeat telecast all over again. But this is something I have been feeling for quite some time now that I wanted to share here.

When I see people around me cry over petty reasons, I think it is funny. It's not that I don't do it at all; I do it too, but I would like to believe I have reduced it a lot over the years. The reason I find it funny is because of this; call it trick if you will; that I adapted a couple of years back. I think it all started when I started watching episodes of "The Universe". The sheer mention of distance between the Earth and the Sun; the age of Sun; the life span of Sun; all this was enough to make me feel like humans are such a small part of this huge, boundless space that exists around us; around Earth. I always remember these facts and try not to waste my time here on insignificant things like gossip, egos, fights, complaints etc. For people who do that, maybe the boundaries of their minds and thinking are just that; they cannot think beyond daily life with its nitty-gritties, day to day chores, fights and complaints and cribbing.

When you expose your mind to limitless possibilities, and the insignificantness (yet significant, definitely, because of what humans have achieved over centuries, which any other life form hasn't been able to, at least on Earth) of our existence, maybe then those things like daily banter and issues also start seeming insignificant and hence not worthwhile.

Try it and let me know if it works. We can make this a much better place to live if we ban these very things like chaos, fights and egos from our lives.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Time and tide wait for none

I feel so restless
Like something is going to be taken away from me
It isn't something that I can catch hold of
I know because I tried and I failed miserably

As I see the water in the lake
And the swaying coconut trees
I realize there are some things that can't be stopped
They just cannot rest in peace

Like the water, the wind and the birds that move
Time has a promise to keep
It cannot stay still
It must, into its own shell, go deep and deep

Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Chaos and the Voice

From within all the chaos that goes on in the mind
Sometimes comes a voice worthy to hear
That you just stop whatever you are doing, however important
So you can hold on to that voice, dear and near

That is your best friend, that knows the best for you
Though it appears once in a blue moon
It makes sense, this voice
Holds your hand and gets you out of your cocoon

It may sometime seem to have clarity issues
Like walking in and out of a tunnel
But the feeling you get when you listen to it
Is far far away from dull

Though this is the only thing you want to keep doing
You have a life to return to
With a promise from the fleeting voice to appear again
You float back to what is it that you do

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Happiness is....

It is mostly true what they say; the best things in life are free. There is happiness hidden in some of the simplest things that we don't take a moment to stop and realize. Remember that smile that came on your face automatically when something you wanted, happened? It can be as simple as your mom preparing your favorite dish when you hadn't asked her.

It is also true that we realize a lot of things about our own selves as we grow older...errr, maybe not older but wiser? :) I have been noting a few things that made me happy lately and I thought of sharing that list here. Maybe most of the things on the list will be relatable to all of you. If they do, I would be very happy to know!

Happiness is:
- A message or call from your best friend who has drifted apart
- Reliving a video you made when India won the world cup and you watched on TV, with your favorite people, and cheered to no bounds at Dhoni's winning shot
- Eating the last piece of idli and vada with heaped butter at Brahmins Cafe
- Listening to that song you have started loving lately, downloaded as lossless in iTunes and played on your car stereo
- Waiting for a happy event to happen than the actual event itself
- Watching FRIENDS rerun for the nth time
- Drinking hot tea when it is pouring outside
- Listening to your neice address you in the cutest tone possible
- Finding your old slam book with entries from your school friends and laughing at how naive you all were, then
- Finding money in the pocket of a jacket you haven't worn in a long time

If you start observing such moments, you will know that all of us have several reasons and things to keep us happy, even if for shorter durations.