Thursday, February 12, 2015

Death and dealing with it

Take it from someone who has had a lot of experience with deaths in the family: Time doesn't stop, "I can't live without you" is a sham 99 out of 100 times and if you think it gets better once you cry it all out, you are wrong, because the pain never truly goes away.

Dealing with something as permanent as death requires a lot of maturity, patience, hope as a virtue and a normal life to return to; of course friends and family who are there for you at your time of need are no less than the other things I just mentioned. The process of dealing with death begins with complete misery of the loss of a loved one, the fear that you will never get to see, touch, hear them again. This slowly turns into anger, questions of "why", "what is the purpose of life" etc. start haunting you. And all this while, it is important to be surrounded by people who can make you talk, smile, laugh even; no, it is not a crime to laugh after you have lost someone. Repeating these processes for a while (duration varies with people) and then slowly returning to the life you led before the unfortunate incident is the most important step of the dealing and healing process; as this gives you something, a purpose, to go on with life.

Most of the things I talked about here, are more so for sudden or totally unexpected deaths, not those of, say, a very old grandparent who wasn't keeping well for quite sometime.

Death is painful, inevitable, permanent, hard hitting; but deal-able.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Humans and our insignificance

For people who talk to me on a regular basis, this may sound like a repeat telecast all over again. But this is something I have been feeling for quite some time now that I wanted to share here.

When I see people around me cry over petty reasons, I think it is funny. It's not that I don't do it at all; I do it too, but I would like to believe I have reduced it a lot over the years. The reason I find it funny is because of this; call it trick if you will; that I adapted a couple of years back. I think it all started when I started watching episodes of "The Universe". The sheer mention of distance between the Earth and the Sun; the age of Sun; the life span of Sun; all this was enough to make me feel like humans are such a small part of this huge, boundless space that exists around us; around Earth. I always remember these facts and try not to waste my time here on insignificant things like gossip, egos, fights, complaints etc. For people who do that, maybe the boundaries of their minds and thinking are just that; they cannot think beyond daily life with its nitty-gritties, day to day chores, fights and complaints and cribbing.

When you expose your mind to limitless possibilities, and the insignificantness (yet significant, definitely, because of what humans have achieved over centuries, which any other life form hasn't been able to, at least on Earth) of our existence, maybe then those things like daily banter and issues also start seeming insignificant and hence not worthwhile.

Try it and let me know if it works. We can make this a much better place to live if we ban these very things like chaos, fights and egos from our lives.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Time and tide wait for none

I feel so restless
Like something is going to be taken away from me
It isn't something that I can catch hold of
I know because I tried and I failed miserably

As I see the water in the lake
And the swaying coconut trees
I realize there are some things that can't be stopped
They just cannot rest in peace

Like the water, the wind and the birds that move
Time has a promise to keep
It cannot stay still
It must, into its own shell, go deep and deep

Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Chaos and the Voice

From within all the chaos that goes on in the mind
Sometimes comes a voice worthy to hear
That you just stop whatever you are doing, however important
So you can hold on to that voice, dear and near

That is your best friend, that knows the best for you
Though it appears once in a blue moon
It makes sense, this voice
Holds your hand and gets you out of your cocoon

It may sometime seem to have clarity issues
Like walking in and out of a tunnel
But the feeling you get when you listen to it
Is far far away from dull

Though this is the only thing you want to keep doing
You have a life to return to
With a promise from the fleeting voice to appear again
You float back to what is it that you do

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Happiness is....

It is mostly true what they say; the best things in life are free. There is happiness hidden in some of the simplest things that we don't take a moment to stop and realize. Remember that smile that came on your face automatically when something you wanted, happened? It can be as simple as your mom preparing your favorite dish when you hadn't asked her.

It is also true that we realize a lot of things about our own selves as we grow older...errr, maybe not older but wiser? :) I have been noting a few things that made me happy lately and I thought of sharing that list here. Maybe most of the things on the list will be relatable to all of you. If they do, I would be very happy to know!

Happiness is:
- A message or call from your best friend who has drifted apart
- Reliving a video you made when India won the world cup and you watched on TV, with your favorite people, and cheered to no bounds at Dhoni's winning shot
- Eating the last piece of idli and vada with heaped butter at Brahmins Cafe
- Listening to that song you have started loving lately, downloaded as lossless in iTunes and played on your car stereo
- Waiting for a happy event to happen than the actual event itself
- Watching FRIENDS rerun for the nth time
- Drinking hot tea when it is pouring outside
- Listening to your neice address you in the cutest tone possible
- Finding your old slam book with entries from your school friends and laughing at how naive you all were, then
- Finding money in the pocket of a jacket you haven't worn in a long time

If you start observing such moments, you will know that all of us have several reasons and things to keep us happy, even if for shorter durations.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Double Century!

When I started blogging 5 years back, (incidentally, my first blog post was on the 30th of October 2009!), I had high hopes for me as a blogger. Though I haven't achieved those hopes and dreams, I would like to believe I haven't been a complete failure either. This hope or dream I am talking about is available here. I wanted to blog every single day, like Big B, no matter how busy my day would be, no matter how my mood would be. It is pretty obvious if my 200th post is in 5 years, that I haven't achieved it. But, to console myself, I would like to think of 200 as a big achievement!

Maybe I don't have a life that is filled with as many events as the Big B's, and so I don't have so much to write about, but I do lead a pretty interesting and eventful life that I am proud of :)

For my 50th blog post, which I had achieved quite early in my blogging career (kudos to the younger me ;)), I had written this. After a lot of thinking, I decided I will continue that older post, and mention some more random things about me.

Here goes the list:

1. I am a very shy and reserved person. Since I move around with a defined set of people, this trait isn't noticeable.

2. One of the fondest memories I have is that of seeing Shahrukh Khan perform live on stage in Bangalore in 2004. My mom gave me Rs. 2000 after I begged her umpteen times, to buy the ticket, and I promised to pay her back with money from my first salary!

3. It is very difficult for me to fake emotions. If I don't like someone, it is written all over my face. Same goes for when I like someone.

4. When a guy wrote to me that he cried after reading my first novel, Juvenile Journey - A trip down memory lane, I felt my work as a writer has been accomplished.

5. I have inspired someone to write a diary in their thoughts via this blog. Thank you for letting me know.

6. I get the most unbelievable dreams and nightmares. But what's beyond that is this website which seems to give the perfect explanation to the things and people I see in them! Uncanny!

7. One of the best advice bits I have ever received is "At their death bed, no one thinks of how many projects they successfully completed. Everyone thinks of how many successful relationships they have had and how well they have managed their family"

8. Someone collected all my poems in a folder in their Gmail and shared them with me all at one. Talk about thoughtfulness :) Thank you!

9. I am extremely proud of my 3 younger brothers (maternal cousins) who have accomplished so much at such young ages. Kudos to you guys!

10. My second novel, tentatively titled "Namma Story" (as used in Namma Bengalooru), is ready and hopefully should be out soon! Keep looking at this space for more updates.

I am extremely thankful to those who read most of my blog posts and either comment on them or let me know verbally. You are the force that keeps me going! Thanks for all the love!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Memories at Midnight

No, this post has nothing to do with Sidney Sheldon's Memories of Midnight. Just thought it suited the mood I am in and it is almost midnight, hence. I was taking this online test the other day (yes, I am a big fan of these online tests though I don't post my results out there for the world to see. Sounds strange, I know, because I keep sharing a lot of stuff about me in social networks anyway, so why not this? The more I think about it, the more I feel that whatever I willingly post is what I want the world to see me as, but the results of some of these tests are so accurate and portray so much about the real "me" that I don't feel like sharing it with everyone. Phew, and so ends a long explanation within parenthesis), and it said I am more of a person who reflects on the past than paint my future. I guess I am like that.

Which finally brings me to the point of this post. I was remembering a lot of things from my childhood to my adolescent days, from my primary school days to my college days, the friends I made, the relationships I saved, the people who matter(ed), the people who went away, the worst of my life and the best of my life. As I wrote in my book "Juvenile Journey - A trip down memory lane", it is very difficult to come out of these memories once you enter into their world.

And so the impromptu blog post. To let people know I was thinking of them, and that I always will. Because I am a "memories" person.