Thursday, September 18, 2014

Taking the Middle Road

Most of us, more often than not, and this I say by my personal experience, take the middle road in life. Call this peacemaker abilities, escapist behavior, or the compulsion to keep everyone around us happy or….well, I am at a loss of words here. Maybe that is because of the part of the world we stay in and/or our upbringing and culture?

I have known/I know very few people that speak their mind. They (you notice I say “they” here because I am not one of them) say what they want to, they do what they want to, and still somehow manage to stay cherished in the lives of people around them. They don’t compromise most of the times and they manage to stay happy because they know what they are doing is what they absolutely believe in. And in cases of these people, no matter where they stay, or how their upbringing is, they stay true to their nature.

There are of course others, who don’t stay true to themselves at all. They assume the lie they portray and continue living that lie. That’s a different story for another day.

But the people who take the middle road - Is it safe? Maybe sometimes it is, when say, you are taking it to protect your child, or when you say something just to see smiles on your aged parents’ faces (even though you don’t believe in it). These are harmless, nothing that really comes back to you with a problem. But if something that you are doing (believing that that is the best route to keep everyone happy) is harming yourself or those near and dear to you, it is maybe time to sit, think and understand if you are right in your approach or you are just feeding egos. Maybe you knew the answer all along but your characteristic behavior didn't let you change things from what they were. But, as someone wise rightly said, it is never too late. We should all try to correct things that may have gone wrong because we took the middle road.

Lastly, earlier in this post, I spoke of people who speak their mind being cherished. The reason could be that the people who take the middle road, actually want to be like these people who speak their mind and they are in awe of them. I think so!

Sunday, August 31, 2014

No matter how hard you try, you cannot do everything

When I first watched Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani, I hadn't really liked it. But the movie kind of started to grow on me, after I watched it a couple of times on TV. I think the part that I connected with, the most, was this dialogue and the scene where Deepika and Ranbir are exploring Udaipur, and towards late evening, Deepika just sits down, exhausted, and Ranbir tries to force her to leave that place so they could watch the sound and light show. Deepika resists, saying she is too tired and she would rather rest at the same place for a few minutes. Ranbir, being the restless one, reluctantly sits next to her, and still makes one last attempt to convince her to go: "What if we find out later that the show was "dhaasu"? (meaning awesome), to which Deepika responds "I know it will be awesome. But if we go there, we would miss the 'just as awesome' sunset you can see from here"....."no matter how hard you try, in life, you cannot cover everything you have planned in your checklist. You are bound to miss doing certain things. It is better to enjoy whatever you have, wherever you are".

THAT struck a chord with me. I too, am the restless kind. I want to do everything that I plan to do. It is good when I do get to do everything I plan, but I tend to get too worked up if and when I don't get to do everything I planned. In such cases, it is better to stop, take a breather, smell the roses and enjoy things that are there, then and with whoever is with me.

With so many things to achieve and do in today's fast paced life, it would be a refreshing change to stop and enjoy our surroundings in silence, just maybe once in a while.

Monday, August 11, 2014

I am my best self when busy!

I watched "Lucy" the other day, the movie which is based on the hypothesis that humans use only up to 10% of brain capacity in a lifetime. The movie was not at all well made, but the point it tried to make, stuck with me. I was doing some thinking prior to that, well, I have been from some time now. But I was unable to pinpoint on that one thing which was making me uneasy.

There I was, having more free time on my hands than earlier, and still, why wasn't I able to focus on those things that I always thought I would do when I have free time on my hands? Stuff like, completing my unfinished novels (yes, plural), joining a handwriting analysis class which has been on my mind since like forever, registering for a masters degree (again, yes, I love studying, I want to do a MA in English or maybe a PG Diploma in creative writing), build a scrapbook for myself, and the list goes on. But I just wasn't doing any of these things. Why?

Rajat put in good words today. "You are at your best when you are busy" and as an afterthought, he added "And busy doing quality work". There, the light bulb flashed. Come to think of it, I had written my first novel when I was at one of the busiest and challenging phases of my career, my best scrap-booking results happened when I had absolutely no time to dedicate to them, my certification exams happened when my mind was being utilized constantly to think about solutions for challenges at work and so on. You get the drift, don't you? The correlation to Lucy, here, being the non-utilization of even that mediocre 10% of my brain capacity right now. Ugh.

So, now, the only way to get myself into doing all those things that I want to do, is to keep myself busy. Amen.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The strangeness of human mind

When I lost my dad, I thought my life was done too. I thought I wouldn't be able to live without him and my time too, would soon come. When the 17th day had passed (that was the longest I had ever been away from him), I realized nothing was going to happen to me just because I don't have the most important person in my life with me anymore. I was (probably, debatable) sent here with a purpose and till I achieve that, my time wouldn't come.

I started to associate his presence with the weirdest things possible; when my vehicle wouldn't start after multiple attempts, I would say a silent prayer to my dad, and my Hero Puch would purr into action (Of course, I didn't want to consider the possibility that the multiple attempts would have warmed up the engine and that, most obviously, was the reason); I would say a silent prayer to him during all my exams then onward and give him (HE still existed in my mind) the entire credit for my good scores; I lost my way back from a remote area I had been to once, and all the way back home, which took a good 2 hours, I "felt" I was being guided by him. I don't really believe in supernatural existence unless it is evil (Ugh, I know, but that's the way I feel) but all these were new experiences.

Now that I think of all these situations, I laugh to myself. How naive I was. Naive or not, I think the strong belief I had in him and his presence helped me sail through most of my teenage years and early 20s. I don't rely on him anymore (not always, anyway) though I wish I did. Maybe the presence of something so strong, such strong a belief or hope in something helps us wait for a better tomorrow.


Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Angel of the past were obviously good
And so you keep haunting me
The heights we reached, the paths we took
Won't just let me be
Crazy talks with self...God they need to stop
These memories...did they really take place?
Sometimes I think yes, sometimes no
Sometimes I forget the cause for my case
It's been so long, yet you so haunt me
Maybe it's time we met again
You know who you are, my angel of the past
Why don't you relieve me of this pain?

Monday, May 19, 2014

The Art of Communication

So much that I want to say
Words just don't come out
Oh what will happen if I say so
This is what keeps me in doubt
Why should I bother what they think
These are people who are my own
If I have to bother so much
Are these people really my own?
Alas I am a stranger to the art of communication
I would rather stay quiet than speak my heart
By doing so it is I, me, myself I hurt
Maybe in the end, that's why we drift apart

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

That Thing Called Friendship

The reason for me writing this post is that I just answered a FRIENDS quiz and that made me think of them and that then made me think of my friends and friendship in general.

Now, I have been pretty lucky in this department. I have had some great friends in my life, although not all of them have made it till now, and the same goes to me too. I haven't been there for my friends like I used to. Yes, we keep in touch, yes we WhatsApp, yes we talk on the phone and perhaps meet once in a while; but it isn't what it used to be. There are probably just a couple of 2AM friends I have, you know, the ones I can call at 2AM and still get a response. I know that in hours of crisis, all these friends of mine will always be there for me and offer help in any way they can, but. It isn't the same.

When we talk or meet, we all feel the same bonding that we used to have, but that feeling is momentary. Yes, I still have a huge smile on my face when a friend calls out of the blue, but it isn't the same as chatting incessantly, cracking jokes that only you would understand and not having to worry about being judged or judgemental.

I was doing some thinking and here is what I have so far.

General rules and characteristics of friendship:

1. After a certain age, all the new people you meet become acquaintances and not friends in most cases
2. Friends of good friends always have the highest probability of becoming your good friends
3. Same goes for friends of better halves
4. In case of friendships, similars attract more than opposites
5. Friendships, like any other relationship, need lot of nurturing
6. Having a group of good friends who have other good friends increases your prospects of finding a good life partner ;)
7. People who you spend the most time with have the tendency to become your good friends provided you are like-minded
8. Contrary to popular and Sooraj Barjatya's belief, a guy and girl can be just friends! In fact, they can sometimes be better friends than with someone of their own gender
9. Friends are usually the worst hit when a life partner begins to emerge in one's life
10. Friends are the ones who help create the most of your life's best memories

To end this post, a simple poem:
Some have disappeared, very few stayed
Some are friends of friends, some are mine,
Some fought, some went away, some encroached
Some make the days of my life seem just fine

We may not talk, we may not meet, but if you have been or are my friend, please know that you are cherished and remembered.